When it comes to Vedic Mars Afflictions, there are different intensities of it. I have the strong kind. I figure it's got a good karmic reason, and have decided to live with it, and live to tell the tales. The LIVE part is the crux here, I've come to realize....I wonder if it's Mangal Dosha that has blessed me with exposure to strange, and, unfortunately, often dangerous experiences. Or maybe it's simply my Gaian outfit - a female body - that attracts this kind of force.
Pondering for decades what the strange experiences mean, I currently interpret them simply as blatant hostility toward female primal force, which I call the "Virgin Force". I suspect that the very heart and life-giving essence of womanhood - her undistorted, pure, unmodified sexual force - finds itself prosecuted. As if Woman's greatest gift to humanity, her sexual love, earned her contempt, ridicule, and, when self-directed and unrepressed, a reputation of insanity. She is even said to have been accused of transgressing against the creator itself. Now this is a serious charge: Sin against the Absolute by way of possessing highly creative, primal, Virgin Force.
I wonder if what I'm observing is that, with the same intensity that this force is present, it is answered. And I imagine that it's often forceful and hostile because this Virgin Force has been removed from our acceptable knowledge for millennia. Therefore we have no capacity to meet it without deep uneasiness and are therefore trying to control it. And trying to control our own reactions to this unknowable consuming force of divine destiny, maybe we try to control what we think causes the reaction: the presence of female primal creative force.
I believe this raw virgin force directly relates to raw truth. Raw truth is freeing. If I surrender. It hits me over the head, and if I surrender, I'm struck down and stand back up - changed - forever. With that, I believe there is something of God in that force. Love and Truth, and can we stand it, can we stand in it. The virgin force flows in the presence of absolute love and truth. I am not sure if it's love and truth that enable its openness, or if it's the virgin force that blows open and away anything that is not pure.
I suspect that fear of losing control is the reason Sophia was erased, and only Logos remained. I suspect that this is why there is so much literature on sex magic focused on the man's evolution, not the woman's. Why? I wonder if maybe Woman's force, fully fledged, knows God. And so I wonder if, on the bottom line, our collective suppression of female sexuality is our collective suppression of knowing God.
My theory is: Surrender to this raw force of pure female sexual love, and it will burn everything you're not, and leave only God - a divine nature surrendered to the constant becoming, everchanging evolution, of this Gaian experiment.
What is sexual love? Sexual love is the ability to communicate unconditional love through the body. All three centers are involved: sex, heart, and mind. A woman is able to receive her lover fully, in all of his aspects, through taking him in sexually. A melting, psychologically, spiritually, and physically, occurs. Alchemy of heart, body, mind and soul becomes possible. It becomes inevitable. But I don't think everyone wants it. What it does is - it invites the man to surrender. The male ego melts. If the man surrenders, he is reborn as the Horus child. A new world is created.
It takes a very high being to be able to offer this kind of love. We underestimate this. A woman who loves through her body is usually looked down upon. A woman that's culturally respected is usually one who shows intellectual strength, but keeps her sexual strength private. A man can be known for his sex life and maintain public acceptance. This is currently still fairly impossible for a woman.
According to The Magdalene Manuscript by Tom Kenyon and Judi Sion, Jesus practiced high sex magic with his partner Mary Magdalene as a way of strengthening his energy body for what was to come. Notice, even though there were suspicions that Mary Magdalene was his intimate partner, he was able to maintain his image as the son of God, versus Mary Magdalene was portrayed pejoratively for possibly being sexually active. Even further, and it makes complete sense to me, the authors speak of Mother Mary's high evolution: Her training, and her natural pure inclination, purifying her body and consciousness, made her capable of conception by concept (spirit seed). I think that's why she was said to be "without sin." Not because of there being no man involved, but because she was completely without judgment. I wonder if she was called the Virgin Mary because she was completely pure, virgin, in her relationship with her virgin essence.
What do I mean by Virgin Force? To me, Virgin Force is a woman's pure desire, uncorrupted by prejudice and projection, and a pure, uncontaminated relationship to her primal creative force. "Virgin" has nothing to do with sexual abstinence. It has to do with abstinence from negative perceptions, distortion, and control, of that force. "Virgin" in this sense is synonymous to "pure." It's what Charles Bukowski describes as "there is no lie in her fire." Virgin Force is honest, uncontaminated desire.
What is Purity? Virginity? Honesty? It is a form of untouchedness. Untouched by distortion, judgment, misrepresentation. Untouched by the violence. Untouched by the desire to pretend something other than what is. It is the knowledge of the innocence of our primal force, of all in existence. Its inherent goodness. Its being God and All That Is.
Virgin Force plays a crucial role in creation. Pure desire is the engine of creativity. Without desire, nothing new comes into existence. It is desire for new experiences that prompts us to create - anything: technology, food, a party with friends. Virgin Force: I prefer that we restore her proper place. So that all life may thrive.
In my next life, I want to be a saint with a sex life. :-) This life, I'm working to create an environment that makes it possible.